It is getting to be that time of year

"FKA-RacecaR" (FKA-RacecaR) 03/12/2015 at 09:50 • Filed to: None

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Late last year I was "diagnosed" with depression. I've been dealing with it for a long time (since I was in my early teens). But last year it got really bad, so I decided to do something about it. I was put on some meds, and now they seem to not be doing so well.

Yesterday was real bad. I almost took off the full day of work, but had some stuff to do. After some logical thought, I decided to come in and get some work done.

I did leave at about mid day though. On the way home, I was having a tough time dealing with just going home and sitting alone. I was just going to go home and sleep. If I am home alone, with nothing to really do, I start getting worried about what I may do.

I begin driving down a highway to go towards my house. It then hits me. It is sunny. It is about 50 degrees. It is the middle of the day, so not a lot of traffic is out. I decide to take a side road and go the long way home.

I am so glad I did. I hit some pretty good roads and put the car through its paces. It was awesome. I got home about 45 minutes later and felt a lot better. I forgot what it was like to go for a drive. I forgot how therapeutic it is. I can not wait to go out and do it again.

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on 3/27, and hopefully he can help me straighten out my meds and clear my mind a little. But I know I will not be giving up on my petrol therapy anytime soon.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 09:53

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I know when im home alone my anxiety goes crazy, usually about stupid stuff too

Party-vi > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 09:58

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I had the same, and can say you'll get there - I did.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:04

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I will be praying for you bud. I have had some serious struggles with depression brought upon by ptsd. Yesterday, I received some mail that reawakened some of those dark feelings and has really put a huge cloud over the spouse and I. I get so overwhelmed by the depression that I have to make something, anything a most hated enemy, just so that I can cope with the turmoil inside. I used to medicate with lies, rebellious activity, and crippling arrogant pride but got to a point where I could medicate with strenuous physical exercise. However, when similar elements that I received yesterday arise, they bring back the darkest of thoughts and steal my ability to believe that anything good can happen in this world or that I am of value to anyone or anything now. I'm afraid of taking the meds because I have seen so many other people abuse them. i am afraid that I too will abuse them and in turn permanently damage myself. My depression and ptsd stole from me my faith in God, people, and in life in general and shakes me to the core every time something takes me back to that place.

I hope that you can get this all straightened out.

On a side note, I wonder if you could get a grant to begin a track day/wrenching therapy program for those experiencing mental strife.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:04

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I'm lucky in that the meds I'm on really work. Takes it down to maybe a couple bad days a week instead of it being almost every day. Hopefully your psychiatrist finds something that works for you.

DrScientist > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:06

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there are at least 4 different major classes of antidepressant medications, with multiple other classes available and used to treat major depressive disorder.

within each of these classes there are a number of different options, both available as less expensive generic options, or as "branded" options, which tend to have more widely available patient support (both financial, behavioral, and health lifestyle).

beyond these antidepressant medications, there are also several other types of antidepressant medications that can be used as "add-on" or "adjunctive" therapy. that is, taking a new medication on top of the antidepressant you are already taking.

so, if you did, at one point, feel your antidepressant was working, do not worry, there are many, many, many other options out there for you and your psychiatrist to discuss and potentially initiate. further, keep in mind, that 2 out 3 patients with major depressive disorder do in fact continue to experience residual depressive symptoms following treatment with antidepressant medication. in other words, you are not alone.

all of this said about drugs for depression, keep in mind that the currently understood best approach for treatment of depression is multifaceted, and should include regular consultation with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other therapist, as well as other components to therapy that could include behavioral therapy.

behavioral therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy, can take many forms. but i believe we have just identified one potentially successful component of that for you. SO... don't forget to tell your psychiatrist how you felt after taking that drive. it will be a piece of information that will likely help in your continuing treatment.

best of luck, and be sure to keep the shiny side up!

E. Julius > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:07

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One of my favorite things to do to clear my head. Glad it was able to help you.

cazzyodo > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:14

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I boiled my sentiment down to an adorable cat poster.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > cazzyodo 03/12/2015 at 10:16

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I thought that said "Kang in there" and I wanted to see a picture of a kangaroo.

So here's a picture of a kangaroo.

cazzyodo > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/12/2015 at 10:19

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Tree kangaroos are a thing, too!

FKA-RacecaR > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 03/12/2015 at 10:19

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Sorry to hear you have it so rough. Puts my depression in check. And thanks for the encouraging words.

And I think it would be awesome to do a track day/tuning day as therapy. I wonder how I would even begin to look into that. That's a great idea.

FKA-RacecaR > DrScientist 03/12/2015 at 10:23

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Lots of info there. And I did some reading about a lot of stuff before jumping into meds. I was always hesitant because I did not want the meds to not make me "me" any more. But they have not done that.

And I started with one, then my family doc added another. When I went back to him again and said I seem to have fallen back into the suicidal thoughts, he suggested going to see a psychiatrist since they can fine tune the meds much better. I went to see a therapist 5 times last year, and that kind of helped as well. Even though we came to the conclusion that my brain was just broken. There really is nothing in my life that is triggering this.

But I am hoping the psychiatrist can help. And now that it is getting warmer out, I won't be cooped up in the house so much. And I am also working on getting back in the routine of exercising regularly, which I think will help tremendously.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:24

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Try as hard as they could but the Corps never could take away my nature of being an "ideas" guy.

I have lots of ideas, but precious little details.

Rainbow > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:24

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I'm the same way. My antidepressants never seem to work, but driving almost always does. If money was no object, I'd get a solar-charged electric van (electric so there's very little to go wrong, solar so it rarely needs time to rest) with a bed in the back, and I'd spend the rest of my life on a never-ending road trip.

But aside from that, I know that something out there will fix everything for you. Don't ever give up hope, because once you find that one thing, whether it's a pill, therapy, or something else, it will have absolutely been worth the wait.

505Turbeaux > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 10:52

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We need a psychiatrist on here who can prescribe large doses of driving and wrenching. Between reading alot of empowering philosophy, and ample amounts of the above, I killed my depression around the age of 26 with very few bouts of it returning. No goddamn meds

FKA-RacecaR > 505Turbeaux 03/12/2015 at 11:02

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I really hope I can get there. The meds are putting a major harsh on my libido.

DrScientist > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 11:03

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this is not the forum to provide medical advice, but i will recommend you don't discount the benefit of discussion with any therapist. and this benefit is maximized with regular consultation, not every other month.

i apologize for putting so much information in my first response. but i did want to communicate to you that there are many many different medication options for you. and if one does not show a benefit, or if one begins to demonstrate a bothersome side effect, do not hesitate for a second to tell your prescriber and try something else.

it is true that a psychiatrist will be more attuned to the differences between medications than your family physician. and don't be frightened to tell him/her about the details of your experience with the medications. (these aren't cholesterol lowering meds, which have effects that can easily identified in a blood test.) talk to your psychiatrist about all of the details, what's good, what's bad. and work together to find a solution. that is why youre paying them after all. :)

505Turbeaux > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 11:13

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Without getting all anti-capitalist and tin-foil hatty, psych meds are only really necessary in extreme cases IMHO, and being on meds sort of placates you into thinking that you need them to not be depressed (and big pharma is more than happy to allow you to believe that). I know many mental health professionals who agree with this. I have also helped my girlfriend to get off her meds as well, and she is extremely happy now, truly. Tell you what, if you are in facebook, hit me up here and I will be there to help you through it or answer any questions you may have.

FKA-RacecaR > 505Turbeaux 03/12/2015 at 11:27

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I am not sure what you consider an extreme case, but thinking of swallowing a full bottle of my blood pressure medicine seemed like an extreme case to me. I probably should not have let it get that bad.
Honestly, I am on the meds in hopes they can help even me out, while I work on some other things. Then slowly ween off the meds.

And I'm all ready friends with you on FB. LULZ (now the depression comes back due to you not knowing this... ha!)

And thanks for the encouragement.

FKA-RacecaR > DrScientist 03/12/2015 at 11:28

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That is something I struggled with the therapist. Telling them what I was actually feeling instead of just what I figured they wanted to hear. I really had to work at that.

Frank Grimes > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 11:28

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excercise bro. seriously. exercise. even if its just going for a walk. or doing pushups. using the pain as fuel sounds dumb but it works and the effort and sweat and release of energy just does something amazing. I think a big part of it is also just focusing on the physical part of me instead of the mental or emotional feelings helps bring clarity or at the least respite from the normal. Also driving around in a convertible helps too.

FKA-RacecaR > Frank Grimes 03/12/2015 at 11:31

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Yeah, I can not wait for it to finally warm up for good. I will be outside doing SOMETHING a lot more.

505Turbeaux > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 11:32

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ah shit that is right. I remembered that after I wrote this. Dammit. Cant say I solved my short term memory :) I am there to talk whenever

Back in the days it was bad enough I wanted to jump off a bridge numerous times over the smallest things if I was in a low time.

DrScientist > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 11:44

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please don't take this as a criticism, but no one will benefit from that type of interaction. continue to work on it to the best of your ability.

and as there are many medications available to you, there are WAY WAY WAY more therapists out there at your disposal. find one you are comfortable with. many will allow you to come in for a free consult, to determine if the two of you make a good fit. hell, i bet you could even find a psychiatrist who is a jalop himself.

there is absolutely no reason to skimp or settle. a few of the things where i never settle for a less-than optimal option: 1) tires 2) bourbon 3) healthcare

brzedr1 > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 12:06

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To share wise words I once read: it should be kept in mind that vitality, not happiness, is the opposite of depression.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > FKA-RacecaR 03/12/2015 at 16:02

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Therapy, for sure. I'm getting a long weekend of it mid-April, it the Ozarks of NW Arkansas.

and 100 more > FKA-RacecaR 04/02/2015 at 12:57

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Good for you, man! Glad you managed to find a happy place, even if that place was a few miles long and covered in asphalt.

I was gonna write a piece about depression yesterday (i was kinda feeling it too), but I decided not to post it. I'm glad you did it, though.

and 100 more > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 04/02/2015 at 13:07

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Not advocating illegal activity here (of course not, me? psssh!), but there have been some very interesting studies regarding the use of shrooms (you know, the "magic" kind) to treat depression and PTSD. They're seeing very very good results. In very few sessions.

Maybe take a weekend with a trusted friend, go someplace out of the way, and have them babysit you thru a trip or two. I have no experience in this, but like I said, I hear the results have been spectacular for resetting the brain physiology to override the depression pathways.

I understand entirely the notion of avoiding the currently accepted medications for depression; my dad is a Nam vet and I've watched him go every direction on meds over the years, and all he can show for it is a fucked-up liver. If he's off the meds, he's unstable; if he's on them, he's either a zombie or paranoid. What's the doctor's solution? More meds to counteract the other meds... No thanks.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > and 100 more 04/02/2015 at 13:09

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Nah bro, I'm alright. Don't get down with drug usage, no matter the low level of impact.

and 100 more > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 04/02/2015 at 13:12

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No worries, just thought it was worth a mention. I'm glad you have something that works for you, that's what matters. I hope the storm passes soon.